he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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