the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
