I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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