Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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