do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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