It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
