he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
