i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
