im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
