I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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