Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
