so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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