Soap is not a condiment
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
This is my gift to your gina
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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