anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
