btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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