he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
