This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
