You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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