you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
