So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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