11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
