Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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