I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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