I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
