even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
