love makes seman taste better
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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