If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
