If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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