I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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