Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
