well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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