p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
