Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
