So drunk its hurt
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
