Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Randomize
