I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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