I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
