theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Randomize
