All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
