I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
