Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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