dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
