i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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