i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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