AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
