also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
