Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
