And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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