do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
