he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
