i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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