U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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