I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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