ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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