Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize