winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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