Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
