At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
