So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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