I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
