i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize