I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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