playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize