idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
