yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
