maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize