Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
