but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
